The Day Marik Lost His Laugh
by clamsofmacabre
Summary: What do we all know Marik for? His evil laugh of course!But when one day he loses his laugh,the thing that he is famous for, will his reputation as the diabolical pschyco be ruined.Or worse, will he become a simpering goody-two-shoes like Yugi?God forbid!
1. Losing Something Precious

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but this fan fic.

The room was a complete mess, the ceiling was caved in, the sofas were ripped, the fireplace was blown-up, the walls were smashed, and to add to that, the whole place was flooded.  
  
Marik Ishtar looked around, satisfied and then comprehended that he'd destroyed the wrong house...  
  
"Shit! I wasn't supposed to wreck the Carson's house till Wednesday!" he groaned.  
  
He shrugged it off and tried to reassure himself that this was vital practice and that he was in fact ahead of schedule.  
  
"Well, there's always a bug on the anthill... no wait, that's not it... it was, there's always the relish on the hotdog... no... that wasn't it either... ARGH!!" Marik was obviously frustrated at not remembering the old adage, which, by the way was there's always a silver lining on a cloud.  
  
He turned to leave, because today was the day the slaughter house got a new shipment of cows and pigs and it was always fun to gather the organs and throw them at unsuspecting people, especially those animal rights protesters, and this was Marik's second favorite hobby, the first being wrecking things, but then he rememberd the most important thing after a job well done, or in this case, a home well wrecked... his evil and diabolical laugh. 

Marik inhaled deeply and opened his mouth, expecting a spine tingling laugh, but instead... nothing happened. Surprised, he tried again and all that came out was a small wheeze.  
  
It didn't take an idiot to figure out what went wrong. It was all to obvious. Marik had lost the one thing he had cared for since he was little... he had lost... his laugh.  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cue dramatic music!  
  
Poor Marik, he loved his laugh.  
  
Review, or you'll never find out what happens!


	2. Raiding the Fridge

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my fanfics... and my dreams!!!!!!

Sorry I haven't updated in while, had to do A LOT of editing...

BTW, Malik Hikari, Marik Yami. I used to do it the other way but a lot more people do it this way.

Also, this chapter has a lot of Bakura in it, but don't worry Marik and Malik fans, their chance to shine will come!

And now, the story:

"Dingdong!" rang the doorbell. When no one answered, there were a few odd scuffling noises including the sound of a match being struck, then... "KABOOM!!!!" the door went flying in many little pieces, revealing a grinning Bakura, who, though covered with debris and soot, was quite pleased with himself.  
  
"Oy! Marik! You just missed the most awesome organ bomb ever! There was this big rally at the slaughter house, something about cruelty to cows or whatever, but we put all the stuff together and dropped it on them. You shoulda seen it! People were crying and screami—"

Bakura stopped when he realized that there was no reaction from his intended audience. In fact, by now Marik should have been on the floor laughing (after all, Bakura's giant ego told him that he was indeed the "funny one"... not to mention the "hot one" and the "one with AWESOME hair" and the "smart one" and... well... you get the point).

Our poor clueless tomb-robber looked around to find that Marik was not listening to his brilliant speech about his fearless tirade on the vegetarian rebels... in fact; Marik wasn't even there (gasp)!

Suddenly, realization dawned on Bakura.

No Marik no Malik refrigerator brimming with food Ryou on a creepy health food craze poor starving tomb-robber FRIDGE RAIDING TIME!!!!!!!!!!

With the speed of... well... a football fanatic with a raging urge to pee after being stuck to their chair for 4 hours during the Super Bowl while it's raining both on TV. and outside, Bakura dashed to Marik's beloved fridge.

It was almost impossible how Bakura managed to leap over the couch, the dinner table, the decapitated wood gnome (plastic of course, Marik's got a little grudge on his next-door neighbors) and a litter box (they used to have a cat... it either ran away or it's in the VERY back of the freezer) then swing open the refrigerator and squeeze his head into the bowels of the fridge, devouring at the speed of light. Then again... logic is no match for what a carnivore surrounded by vegetables and tofu for a week will do to taste meat.

In other words, it's very possible for Bakura to have done that and more when he's been fed only "hippie" food for the last week and finally has a chance to sink his (manually sharpened) teeth into something completely unorthodox.

Taking in bites of pie and leftover hamburgers while gulping down huge amounts of spaghetti and demolishing an ENTIRE turkey (still thawing), Bakura was unable to hear the front door open and close and was also completely unaware of what was going to happen next.

"Whack!" A pillow smashed into Bakura's tanned and toned behind causing him to jump up, startled.

Unfortunately, the fridge shelf was very close to his head resulting in skull connecting to metal making an oddly hollow sound...

Falling out of the refrigerator, his mouth still filled with pieces of turkey and noodles, our poor tomb-robber looked around dazed for his assailant.

Of course, it was none other than his "buddy" Malik who was on the floor rolling with laughter (like I said, Bakura was the "funny one").

Even a thousand year old spirit suffers from slight concussions, especially when a certain person's head hit a certain fridge shelf at a certain VERY high speed.

It was a bit of a miracle that Bakura was even alive and not a drooling vegetable. Luckily Bakura's brains... or lack there of... was used to the constant beating and bruising it suffered everyday either created by the fights that Bakura somehow got into or by that annoying activity called thinking.

Bakura's amazing ability to heal quickly allowed him to shake off his injuries in order to fulfill the objective at hand: Beating the shit out of Malik.

Attacking Malik with the fury of a thousand angry hens (yes, hens) our white-haired fiend proceeded to smash his fists into Malik's overly make-upped face (he's into drag).

"Don't... Ever... DO... THAT... AGAIN!!!!!!" Bakura shouted emphasizing each word with anger filled punches.

When all fury finally ebbed away from Bakura he stepped off the (still) laughing Malik and wandered around the house completely forgetting what had just happened a few minutes ago.

"Thank god for his short attention span." Malik mumbled, picking himself up and expecting the damage done to his poor refrigerator.

The blond haired Egyptian sighed as he examined the head-sized dent made on the top shelf as well as the remains of what food they had left.

"Looks like its take-out again," he murmured to himself before realizing that he had accidentally left Bakura in the house... WITHOUT SUPERVISION!

Knowing Bakura's specialty to destroy anything, Malik sprang up and ran around the house looking for the fiend.

After a few futile moments, Bakura was still nowhere to be found...

Then... knowing the tomb-robber, Malik sniffed the air.

'Ah, hairspray!' he thought as he hurried into Marik's room where Bakura was curiously poking at a seemingly dead Marik.

Hearing Malik come in, Bakura lifted his head to display a pair of HUGE brown TEAR-FILLED eyes at Malik.

"Is... is he dead?" Bakura asked timidly looking tearfully up at Malik.

"I... I really don't know." Malik replied, startled at the grief displayed by Bakura.

"If... if he is..." Bakura started then stopped, seemingly overcome with grief.

"Yes?" Malik asked. This was the ground-breaking moment that he had been waiting for! When Bakura actually showed his true feelings!

"Can I have his stuff?" Bakura asked jumping up.

Malik promptly fell down.

"Can I can I can I can I? PLEASE!!!!!" Bakura inquired while prodding the fallen Malik with his foot.

Malik slowly rose from the floor, an anger vein bulging out of his forehead. This was NOT the ground-breaking moment he had been waiting for.

"I... am... sure... that... Marik... is... not... dead..." Malik spat out, visibly disappointed.

"Awwwww..." Bakura whined, then brightened. "I know what'll wake him up!" The tomb-robber searched through his carefully styled hair and pulled out...

"A PLASTIC DILDO!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Malik shouted in disbelief before falling down again.

"Yep. And it vibrates too! All we have to do is stick it up his—"

"No! No! Definitely not! No WAY!" Malik interrupted.

Bakura misunderstood the interruption as jealously and tried to reason with Malik who was freaking out, "You can try it out too if you want. It's big enough to fit up both your—"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!!!!!!" Malik shouted, "Now put that... that..."

"Dildo?" Bakura asked, trying to be helpful.

" Yes! That thing! Put it away!!!!!" Malik cried, shielding his eyes.

Bakura sighed and put his "toy" away, but not before lovingly patting it on its head.

"Don't feel bad Bridgette, not everyone understands the pleasure you bestow upon people." Bakura whispered to his rubber penis.

Malik watched this odd display of affection, filled with a feeling of nausea, fear... and more nausea.

Shortly after an uncomfortable silence fell in the room, strange gurgling noise arose from the fallen Marik. The noise got louder... and louder!

Just like some sort of low-budget horror movie, both Bakura and Malik were seized by a feeling of extreme curiosity so they both came closer and closer, trying to dicipher the gurgling.  
  
Closer... closer... then...  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The unsuspecting birds outside the Ishtar residence fled at the spine-tingling shriek that came within the house.  
  
Da da dum!!!!!!!!  
  
Yes, yes... I know, cliffhanger! And I'm sorry, but this chapter was way to long for my liking.  
  
Review!!!  



End file.
